As promised, here is the link to the paper by Aesthetic Realism consultant Margot Carpenter in which she describes the question in her own life, and in many women's: "What Is a Woman's Greatest Victory--Appearing Beautiful or Seeing Beautifully?" She also discusses what a contemporary woman learned about this question in Aesthetic Realism consultations, and writes about how it is in the character Lily Bart, from Wharton's The House of Mirth. What Ms. Carpenter describes can give hope to all women!
Aesthetic Realism Explains a Woman's Greatest Victory, by Margot Carpenter.
